Through my years of publishing I have been sent many messages from
adoring fans, interested individuals, lawyers and princes. In order to answer
many of the questions that I receive on a daily basis, I’ve decided to put
together a short section that deals with those which I am most frequently asked
in order to better serve the needs of today’s generation of future virtual
dendrologists.
Q: What kind of qualification is required for one to
be considered a virtual dendrologist?
A: I have worked long and hard in this field in order
to bring you the very best of virtual dendrology and it isn’t an easy road to
travel. I have been published in numerous journals; in particular my lauded and
widely viewed publication The Appropriate Ratio of Leaves to Polygon
Count in Modern Tree Modelling and my widely submitted but unpublished
paper Virtual Dendrology: A Field onto Itself. I currently hold a
BComm Degree.
Q: What is your methodology for assessing the quality
of trees in a particular game?
A: Although I have never played any of the games that
I review, I do frequently look at “screen-shots” of the game in question in
order to get a better understanding of trees as they appear. The actual
hands-on experience is done by my research assistant, who spends many hours on
a daily basis playing video games to compile the massive amount of data I
require for my research.
Q: How long have you been involved in this field?
A: 42 years.
Q: Which tree is your favourite tree?
A: Although I am a professional virtual dendrologist,
I do not in particular enjoy the sight of natural trees. When rendered
properly, my favourite tree is the larch.
Q: Why are your posts so sporadic?
A: Every post that I make has to go through a process
of approval (including this one) involving standard procedures in the
scientific journalistic community: through an approvals board, a legal board
and finally through a copy-editing board. I have also recently going through
divorce proceedings and have been unable to update my blog at this time due to
‘legal issues’ which give my former spouse half of the proceeds from any post I
publish on this blog as ‘child support’ for supposed ‘negligence’ and ‘lack of interest’. And, as my wife now has custody of my research
assistant on weekdays and Sundays, the amount of data I process on a daily
basis has nearly halved.
Q: What is your favourite food?
A: Hamburgers! :)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment